So due to an amusing turn of events (and a mild challenge), I ended up dressing in an androgynous style. Part of it was because my friends didn’t believe I could, but part of it was because I’ve always been obsessed with Androgyny. In my last article titled ‘Sex‘, I discussed gender binary and my belief that it’s no ones business but your own how you identify and portray yourself in terms of sex and gender.

But I decided to give the whole thing a bit more thought. My obsession with androgyny is linked to my gender identity, but not the whole picture. Part of the reason, I believe, that I like the idea of being able to look androgynous is rooted in the fact that I like to pretend to be someone else.

Not just role-playing or acting, but being someone else. I have always used the metaphor that I wear a mask, and while thinking about it, I truly do. While I think on it, I wonder how many of my friends I know and truly trust to see the real me. Not many. In fact, very few.

And a part of it, I believe is my unhappiness with myself. I will say flat out that I have a hard time believing that my friends will accept me for who I am.

Because I am quite convinced that they will not.

That I am somehow damaged, odd, and abnormal in such a way that people will not like me. That I am annoying. A freak. I know that many of us feel this way.

But the issue of showing who we are to those we love is an important one, because if we don’t trust them enough to see who we are, there is no way we will ever know.

So I encourage you to share yourself with your friends. They may surprise you.

If nothing else, it may be the proper reminder that you need to go out and find real friends. Those who can’t accept you for who you are are not worth your time.

'Masks' by Seraphim Azriel '07

Identity is more than how others view you, however. It is how you view yourself. Happiness in your friendships and your identity comes when you feel that your identity is accepted by those you love. When you’re afraid that they will not accept you, whether it is because of a history of such actions from others, or from your own fears and ideas about how society is, then you will be unhappy.

So many of us, myself included, will wear ‘masks’. These faux-identities that we believe people will accept. My most common one is a happy, ditzy, hyper and, let’s be honest, somewhat stupid individual. Another one is a hardcore woman who doesn’t care what anyone thinks.

Both ‘masks’ are a part of me, but neither are the whole picture, even together. When I am hiding the whole picture from people, I am not letting them accept me. And I believe they recognize that. Those who do not get to see the whole picture keep their distance just as you keep yours.

So, in an effort to take my own advice, I am going to be sharing this blog with my friends. And I will admit, I am positively terrified to do so.

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