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I found out today that a very dear friend of mine committed suicide. I have spoken with her many times about her struggle with depression. I have shared with her my own struggle, and we had talked about many, many things. I loved her with all my heart, and I am very sad about her passing.

I had not been updating my own blog with updates, advice or, really, anything, lately.

I am now committed to change that.

I am now committed to updating this blog, to working on my quests.

Not for myself, as I don’t always need to write and keep a regular update in order to stave off sadness, but for others. For the same reason that the It Gets Better Project exists. For the same reason that any of us sit and talk to our friends when they need us.

I will admit, I feel as if I didn’t do enough for her. I lived states away, and despite knowing of her suicidal thoughts, I did not talk to her as often as I could have. I did not remind her of what she means to me every chance I got.

I will now regret that every day of my life.

Suicide is one of those things. Many people see it as a last resort. Many people use it, and while it may end their pain, it hurts others. While I do not believe in sin, it is selfish.

While we can help those who are contemplating it, while we can support them, love them, pray for them, and do whatever is in our power for them, they are the ones who make the choice in the end. They are the only ones who can decide if the pain is too great for them to bear.

I have lost too many friends to suicide. I can only hope they found peace.

And I can do my best to help others who are contemplating suicide, who are depressed. I will do my best to help others who need it. I will be posting more information on the how as I determine that.

Much Love. -Samie

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